Why I say “I love you”
Something about little children causes you to stop and think about your words. It’s probably the way they ask “why” about everything. Or how they wonder “what do you mean?”
“I love you.” The words roll easily off my tongue. This year as I explained Valentine’s day to my almost 4-year-old boy I found myself comparing my words with my actions.
What is love?
Love isn’t just the nice feeling we have as we tuck our kids into bed with cuddles and kisses and the relief of knowing in just 5 minutes there will be peace and quiet. Love isn’t just connecting with my spouse on date night over Asian buffet food. Love isn’t giving my kids chocolate kisses to make them happy and like me more.
Love chooses to speak kindly when my kids argue at breakfast on Valentine’s Day. It prays for grace instead of losing it as we get ready to go to church – when I leave the baby to go wipe someone’s bottom and come back to find him without his blanket, socks and hat. It lets my husband show me his affection by buying me new frying pans instead of overpriced chocolate. It releases my need to be more right than my friend when we don’t agree. It sacrifices my comfort to care for others.
But love also speaks the truth boldly when needed. It corrects my kids so they learn obedience and kindness. It lets my husband know when something bothers me rather than sweeping it under the rug. It gently confronts when sin is the real issue. Love also sometimes says, “I need a break to get refreshed and get my needs met so I can love you better.” Love sacrifices what seems nice to do what is necessary.
God shows me love by forgiving my sin but not letting me continue walking in it. He gives me grace but he also changes me. When I say, “Here’s my heart, Lord,” he says, “Okay, we’re going to dig through the hard stuff to make you like Jesus.” Love is sacrifice. God sacrificed so much to love us. And he calls us to do the same.
So, Charlie, love is sacrifice. It’s what Jesus did on the cross for us. It’s what we get to do for each other every day even when it’s not easy. When I say, “I love you,” I mean, “I’m here for you to nurture you and point you to God, no matter how hard that is.”
In today’s everyday life I’m working on living out the greatest commandment in God’s word:
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” ~ Jesus, Matthew 22:37-40