Today my friend prayed for me using a video app on her phone. Lately I’ve been reliving an anniversary of a traumatic hospitalization. Like, nightmares waking me up in a cold sweat, living agitated all day long, snapping at my kids because I’m self-protecting. That kind of thing. 

And my friend prayed that I would know that I have so much to be joyful and thankful for even in the middle of this memory of trauma. Joyful and thankful. Joyful. Thankful. 

I used to ask God to help me learn to accept my tough experiences. I knew how easy it was to look back and see how something changed me, but I hated hard times and struggled deeply to see their purpose while going through them. 

And then God showed me that I can be okay in whatever I’m going through because I can always choose gratitude. 

When life sucks us under, we rarely run instinctively to joy and gratitude. But we can shift our focus from the hard things by making a simple choice. We may be experiencing circumstances we hate. But we can always find the good, even beautiful, if we take time to notice. God constantly dishes out helpings of good gifts to everyone in the world. 

James wrote, “Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow” (James 1:17). Scientific researchers have begun to notice the role of gratitude in bringing us health and wholeness. They are right. It changes us. But being grateful to God, specifically, changes us even more. When we can recognize that he cares enough to prompt our friend to pray for us, even on the phone, or that he loves us, so he gives us the gift of a good night’s rest, our greatest human need is met: we know we belong, and that he accepts us just as we are. 

While talking about loving people, even those who hurt us, Jesus said this: “God gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike” (Matthew 5:45). It doesn’t matter if you lived perfectly today or if you failed a dozen times. God still sends gifts. Sunshine after a cold, long winter. Rain to make it cozy inside and refresh the earth. Spring flowers poking up through the dirt. A good stir-fry of veggies and meat with a crispy egg roll on the side when you’re famished from work. A soft place to lay your head. The smile of a stranger. 

In the middle of hard things, gratitude grounds me by keeping me present and aware of all the good around me. It lightens my load. It frees my mind. It heals my soul. 

Practice step: designate a journal or at least a section of a journal to listing 5 new items each day to thank God for. When you are grumpy or tired, take a “gratitude break” and challenge yourself and whoever you’re with to list a few things you are each grateful for. Start practicing the art of looking for gifts. They can always be found. 

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