There are picture perfect moments you’d like to treasure in your heart forever.

And there are times you’d prefer absolutely no photographic evidence so you forget them as quickly as possible.

Most of those polar opposite moments come around holidays…one of those being tomorrow. Valentine’s Day. Sometimes you love it. Sometimes you hate it. Most holidays can be that way.

We place a lot of expectations on special days, but so often, we’re left with bruised hearts in the wake of pink candy hearts and balloons, or whatever the holiday dictates are.

When I was single, I thought that if I just had someone, everything would be great. But as much as I love being married and having children, truthfully sometimes even with those blessings, holidays can be lonelier than ever if my heart is restless.

How can we turn the holiday blues around and celebrate them with joy instead of frustration?

It’s More about Giving

Growing up, my mom showed us that holidays were more about giving than receiving. Seriously, making Valentine cards for each other was just as much fun for us as discovering the bags of goodies from Mom at the breakfast table on February 14.

Still, it’s nice to get things or attention in return, and it can be frustrating when those we love don’t reciprocate.

I’m learning, ever so slowly, that when I give, I should focus on giving to God, not to people. That way my sacrifice is an act of worship to him. Is it about me, or about God? When I give to others, I can commit it to God, which helps me keep from expecting things from people in return.

Voice your Expectations

For some reason, we (especially women) wish others could read our minds, then get irritated when they don’t. This causes so many holiday disasters.

So choose to put a stop to that. Talk with your significant other about what you want. It helps so much. “Babe, can we celebrate this holiday doing XYZ?” Do you like to be surprised? Then express that. “Honey, I don’t care what you do for me, but I’d really like you to do something nice for me this holiday.”

You can do this with your in-laws, your children, and your friends. Trust me…it can spare so much frustration.

Say No to the Poor Me Mentality

Single, married, divorced, widowed. Old, young, in between. Surrounded by people or all alone. Holidays can be hard. No denying that.

But pitying ourselves, no matter what our situation, doesn’t help. We can take charge of our feelings and choose to act positively instead.

What actions can you take this holiday?

o   Communicate with your sweetheart and avoid disappointment from unvoiced expectations.

o   Plan a get-together or dinner out with a group of friends if you’re feeling lonely.

o   Reach out to someone who needs a friend for the holiday. A couple needing a babysitter. A child needing lunch at McDonalds. Your grandma wishing for a phone call.

You may be amazed at how those gestures bless your own heart.

Live in Grace

Above everything else, rest in God’s love. He cares for you so much. He is with you just as much on holidays as on ordinary days. He daily pours out grace and kindness on you.

So turn around and give yourself the same grace. If you need to cry because you’re lonely or hurting, do so. If you want to do something special for yourself, do it. If you want to ignore the holiday altogether, who cares?

And give grace to others. If he forgets flowers for you, forgive him. If they don’t say thank you, let it go. If your surprise didn’t make an impression, trust God with the results. You never know what he is doing in the hearts of others.

No matter what our situation this holiday, we can always thank God for his goodness, and celebrate the life he’s given us.

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