I heard the ding on my phone and glanced over. My nurse practitioner had emailed me, no doubt about the results of my blood panel I’d spent several hundred dollars getting done the week before. I set down the basket of laundry and picked up my phone. 

In a few words, she let me know the blood tests hadn’t revealed anything significant. I felt like I should have been dancing. But instead my heart sank. When you’re battling debilitating symptoms of an unknown sickness, you really hope the tests will show up something you can name. 

I have a better idea now, a year later, of what my body is fighting, but I still struggle to accept my limitations. I’m tired and the days are long. I just wish my body would function like it’s supposed to. 

Every person fights an unseen battle. What is yours? 

Are you sick? Do you circle in and out of anxiety or depression? Are you unappreciated by a spouse or lonely in a crowded room? Do the scars of painful memories make it hard to breathe? 

This month I’ve felt a weight crushing my chest. I’ve been rubbing my temples, hoping the stress will go away. 

Routine has been off so my time with Jesus has been limited. When I sat down with my Bible and my Write the Word journal today, the words I read flooded into me like warm chamomile tea after a busy day. 

“For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:17

Death from sin causes stress, sickness and heartache. It rules this world, as we speak. We battle death and its consequences. 

But EVEN GREATER is God’s grace and his gift of righteousness. 

Because when I’m down and out, Satan’s lies scream in my head: You’re not good enough. Look at you, lazy freak. You’re such a bad wife. Bad mom. Bad friend. You can’t do anything. You’re letting everyone down. 

But God says, “Grace! Gifts! It’s all for you! Bathe in it like sunshine on the beach. Wrap it around you like a blanket on a rainy night. Collapse into it like a luxury mattress with silk sheets.” 

So when you feel you can’t lift your head or take one more step, look into God’s kind, smiling face and receive his grace. Receive the righteousness from Jesus. You are okay. You are in Christ. And you will be whole again one day.  

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